whereismellymoosmind

So this week has had the usual ups and downs of any week but I am going to try and look at the positives. So Saturday was good fun I had a walk round Sheffield with my mum, popped in to John Lewis so she could buy some fabric to make a bag and stopped for coffee and cake, which is always good. I also had a good catch up with a friend who I met when I worked with her many moons ago, we walked around a local beautiful park and chatted about what we had both been up to, before we knew it 2 hours had flown by. We both then drove to the supermarket where we bought a chinese meal for two and headed back to my house to cook, eat and finish chatting. At about 12pm we decided to call it a day, having exhausted every possible conversational topic! Sunday was slightly dull but I did a lot of thinking and planning so dull was ok with me. I have decided to plan a capsule wardrobe and when I have got some actual money to put the plan in to action. This has meant choosing the colours I want to e...

So just wanted to get off the starting block by writing something so here goes. I am going to use this blog as somewhere to rant, write my brain farts (excuse the terminology), generally document the good and try and find positives where possible in the not so goods! So I am going to add a few photos of my week thus far! Above is a photo of some artwork in my town. Above is a picture of a grass snake I saw in my back yard! Above is a photo of my beautiful thank-you flowers from my friend for being Godmother to her little boy, who's gorgeous may I add! 

Been a pretty busy week so lots to be grateful for! Firstly I am grateful for Friday evening with my daughter, watching Labrinth at the O2 arena and a fancy dress club- night straight after with uni friends and my brother and his girlfriend! I am also grateful for my home, something that I take for granted often but the terrible hurricane that has destroyed so many homes in the US, has reminded how lucky I am for my surroundings. I also had a trip out with my sister, my nephew and my daughter to a local petting zoo, which I really enjoyed especially seeing the meercats and gaining the knowledge that a group of peacocks are called a party lol (love this)! I am grateful for my wonderful family, especially my sister Virginia who laid on a fantastic Halloween party at her house, with beautiful food and an opportunity for my daughter to get dressed up and all of the rest of the family to have a proper catch up! Also managed to watch Alien (first time ever), something I have bee...

This is what I have finished off tonight, it's not great but I really enjoyed doing it. So much so that I have started another one already I will try and upload the new one tomorrow if I get chance to finish it! Most of the things I am journalling at the minute look bright and colourful but to be honest a lot of it is being vented as a sort of counselling! More helpful to me, than actual art but feel that due to this it has its own merits as art goes! Sorry about the rubbish explanation but it's all I've got lol

Well since it has been nearly a year since my last post thought I would get on here and remedy that! Not sure what I want to say but yet again I am going to try and get on here more often even if it's just a quick one line blog. I am having a day laying on the settee and planning, should really be doing lots but going through some stuff and so I thought that by having a day thinking, planning, deciding etc may be advantageous in the long run! Also really feel the need to start doing more arty crafty type stuff as I feel a little like my soul needs feeding! My problem is that I don't trust myself to do anything good and I know that "good" is subjective but either way I feel rubbish if I do something I am disappointed in! My plan for the evening is to throw paint at a canvas for a bit, see where it gets me lol. How are all you lovely bloggers in bloggerland? TTFN x  

Hello everyone another quick break-neck speed blog post. Rihanna was fabulous as was Calvin Harris and really enjoyed the quality time with my daughter! First assignment completed and handed in, in time. I have even volunteered to have a stall at uni's Christmas market , the idea is to raise some money for charity and also take a percentage of what I make for myself which in turn can go into my Christmas present buying fund, which is looking pretty dire at the minute. Also will be fun as I have decided to make home made Christmas cards for my stall so in turn I will get some leisure time that I will enjoy e.g crafting. So for all intense and purposes things are going well!  Hope all of you in blogland are well and feel free to comment! xTTFNx 

Haven't written a post in an age so thought I would stick a quick one on here. Uni is going great, really enjoying the modules and the new friends I have made. Enjoying learning again, not just the course material but about myself also. Feeling quite upbeat at the minute, which is really nice for me, as some of you know I'm not always this way! Also feeling very lucky to have such a wonderful, supportive and inspirational family! Getting excited over christmas even though like so many years gone by I am totally unprepared for it but I am trying, even doing a DIY job in my home that has been a long time coming. I will of course stick a few pictures on here when it is completed! Also looking forward to the Rihanna concert I'm going to on Saturday, I bought tickets last Christmas, as a present for my daughter. Even been following a healthy eating regime and can already see a small difference. I was going to wait till after Christmas but then thought I could have lost half a ...

So first day done, only had a sit down talk to start with this morning. Then had to walk up to another building so they could take a photocopy of my qualification certificate's, then walked back into town and hopped on a bus home. Since I am starting this new Melanie regime I ate home made zero point veg soup for dinner, which was actually more like a stew but very tasty and now updating my blog. Not bad for half a day's work I think! Going to get off here soon and fill in one form, which is boring (boo hiss) but necessary then as a reward for filling in the form I am going to have an hr crafting, think I will have deserved it. An if the crafting goes ok, I may even put it on here, but as I know how my crafting usually goes I will say, don't hold your breath lol. Hope fellow bloggers are having a nice Monday.  xTTFNx

So tomorrow is the start of my new life as a university student and I am basically bricking it. Not sure where I am going or what I should take with me or the times of buses etc. Also worrying about meeting new people, worrying they won't like me, worrying about the work load, worrying about the juggling of money and living on a budget. Worrying that I will be the oldest one on the course, the fattest, the dumbest! So, I have had a lot on my plate trying to be realistic and trying to be positive which isn't always the easiest thing for me. On the other hand I am really excited as I have been wanting things to change for a considerate amount of time and this is a really big change. I want to make the best of this opportunity and succeed! So I will go and get myself sorted and will pop back on tomorrow to let you know how things went. Wish me luck! xTTFNx

Someday's, things just go right and things start to feel better and you can't help feeling quite joyful, other day's aren't like that at all but today is a good day so I thought I would do a lovely positive post! Positive's are that this weekend is a bank holiday :), I have more than £3 to my name which is nice lol. I'm healthy and I have lost 3 pounds which puts me under one of those horrible stone barrier's that you feel you will never get under! I am starting university in September, my daughter is happy and loving our new kitty, Boo!  Also my sister informed me that there are in fact 18 weeks not 13 till Christmas lol so that means a few more weeks to sort pressie's Thank God lol. So yes things are good, which is nice! xTTFNx

Well just thought I would stick a quick post on here. Missed What's rocking my world but the sentiment is still present, so what's been rocking my world this week. Well I have been accepted to start university in September. I'm very nervous but also very excited and now there is so much to do to be ready. Paperwork type things, which I am so good at putting off. Housey related things, as my brother put it the other day, a tidy house = a tidy brain. Anyone that knows me would look at my house currently and say "that explains a lot!" I am determined to be really good and get organised before starting my course! My sister also mentioned the dreaded C word in her blog, that's right Christmas and rather than years gone by when I have left everything till the last minute and being on such a tight budget means this year that isn't an option! So I am going to take a leaf out of her book and start putting things in to place starting with a few lists possibly follo...

I can't believe that it is August already, haven't been on here in God knows how long. The last year has been weird to say the least and I am the first to admit that I haven't dealt with it at all well. I was diagnosed with depression and apart from my family there are people that won't believe this at all, as on the outside I seem such a happy go lucky person. I usually am quite upbeat but after years of struggling to keep myself upbeat and afloat the cracks began to appear.  At first I went into my shell and stopped communicating, then as things got worse I started to try and escape by making stupid choices and burying my head in the sand. I'm still not doing very well and things have gradually got worse over the last year. I keep thinking that eventually I will turn a corner, eventually I will get up one morning and I will be back to my happy self, however I am starting to realise that this is not the case. I have no magic wand I have no quick fix and maybe it i...

Well it's been a while since I last blogged. Feels weird writing stuff but thought I would give it a go. I could go on about what a tough few months I have had but conpared to some people out there I would feel a fraud. So I won't say that what I will say is over the last few months I have lost two people I have thought a lot about and unfortunately they were both through suicide. I have wondered why, so many times over the last few weeks. I have wondered why they weren't helped, why such awful things have happened. Whether they would have lived if the right support had been offered. An unsurprisingly I have no answer just such sadness for their family for their friends, for the fact that their young lives have been cut short. My thoughts are with them, to Brian and Alan may they rest in peace x

http://celtichouse.blogspot.com/ So the question what is rocking my world this week, the answer is simple, quite a few things. I'm loving the lighter nights, my breakfast of berries in porridge. Getting to work earlier so I get out sooner lol, Mac make up as I always feel so glamorous with it on! My art, I'm not professing to be any good at it but I really love it! Films I love them especially one's with Leonardo Dicaprio in, this week it has been Inception and blood diamond :) Bright sunny mornings, even if it's cool outside. The fact that every day is fresh, new and exciting and you can be anything you want to be, you can start anything, you can do anything! An it goes without saying my family who I am blessed to have! Hope you all have had a brilliant week and that next week is even better :) xTTFNx

Well I received my decree absolute through the post, I knew it was coming, I knew that it was well over due to happen but when I read that letter I'll be honest first thing I did was cry. I told myself to stop being silly I told everyone it was just because I knew my daughter would feel emotional about it. However, I was also a little sad for myself. The worse thing is at the end you can't help but look at the beginning. He was my first boyfriend, he was my best friend and we were very happy, sometimes, but often we weren't we were so young and trying so hard. But financially we were always counting the pennie's and there were never enough and so rather than working together we started to resent each other. Eventually we had both had enough and we split very amicably 5 years ago. This morning when I received the letter, I first beat myself up emotionally telling myself I should have tried harder not given up so easily. Then I started to wonder what my life over the las...

Well I seem to be very good at going off track, don't even see it coming and then it hits me like a ton of bricks. I have been wondering why this happens and at first I came up with nothing but decided to dig a little deeper. Ask a few more searching questions to see if I can come up with any better answers. The reason I start being good is that I want to be thinner, I want to be fitter, I want to feel healthy. I want to be a good role model for my daughter and encourage her to eat things that are going to be good for her. An for a spell I manage very well, I eat well, I exercise and I feel good. Then without any thought I eat one thing that is rubbish, then another and before I know it I have had a week of eating rubbish and I feel rubbish. The question is why? The only thing I can think is that I do it to block up a dam. Not always a bad thing but I do it to distract me from what I am feeling.I do it so I don't have to deal with stuff happening, the washing, the drying, the...

This is the first time I have added a picture to my blog so if it doesn't work then this reason explains why. What's rocking my Friday well obviously my friend's hen party which was last Saturday night really good especially without the alcohol. My new red hair which has cheered me up no end, I'm happier when I'm different I feel more like my old self lol. Music always a blessing, this week I have listened to lil Wayne, Die for you, brill song if you get a chance have a listen  (sorry about the swear words). Kesha, We R Who We R which is such a good dance track. An one of my old favourites Metallica, Whiskey in the jar. Another blessing my new phone, HTC desire HD which I love and at every moment keeps me in touch with the whole world with it's internet, friend's stream (facebook twitter for those not in the know) and you tube :) music in abundance! My new printer which has given me the opportunity to upload my above photo! My art journalling, which I have...

W. H. Davies Leisure WHAT is this life if, full of care, We have no time to stand and stare?— No time to stand beneath the boughs, And stare as long as sheep and cows: No time to see, when woods we pass, Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass: No time to see, in broad daylight, Streams full of stars, like skies at night: No time to turn at Beauty's glance, And watch her feet, how they can dance: No time to wait till her mouth can Enrich that smile her eyes began? A poor life this if, full of care, We have no time to stand and stare. This popped in to my head as I thought about my life, I spend so much time rushing here, there and everywhere. Sometimes my life seems so busy that I forget to appreciate what's all around me, I forget to really look at my beautiful daughter and to appreciate the young lady she is becoming. I forget to breathe in the fresh air, to look at the snowdrops coming through in my garden. To appreciate the little things, the little m...

Well it's a Sunday morning and I have decided to pick myself up off the proverbial floor and cheer my butt up! As they say if you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got. So it is time to change things, shake things up a little! So hopefully this will be a happier post :) I was at a friends hen party last night and I honestly haven't laughed so much! I danced my butt off, I took photo's of a man who arrived at the hotel in a Trotter's Independent Trader van dressed in a flat cap and sheepskin coat with a blowup doll (I didn't ask about that). I attempted every dance move that has ever been created and created a few new one's myself. I think people's favourites seemed to be the Nosferatu (creep, for short) the running man, the grapevine and my personal favourite the pointy finger dance! An all of this was done without a drop of alcohol passing my lips! Benefits of no alcohol means no hangover, no lost possess...

Just to prove that I've always been special and here is the proof - this is me now wading my way back to who I was back then and slowly I'm getting there!