whereismellymoosmind

Someday's, things just go right and things start to feel better and you can't help feeling quite joyful, other day's aren't like that at all but today is a good day so I thought I would do a lovely positive post! Positive's are that this weekend is a bank holiday :), I have more than £3 to my name which is nice lol. I'm healthy and I have lost 3 pounds which puts me under one of those horrible stone barrier's that you feel you will never get under! I am starting university in September, my daughter is happy and loving our new kitty, Boo!  Also my sister informed me that there are in fact 18 weeks not 13 till Christmas lol so that means a few more weeks to sort pressie's Thank God lol. So yes things are good, which is nice! xTTFNx

Well just thought I would stick a quick post on here. Missed What's rocking my world but the sentiment is still present, so what's been rocking my world this week. Well I have been accepted to start university in September. I'm very nervous but also very excited and now there is so much to do to be ready. Paperwork type things, which I am so good at putting off. Housey related things, as my brother put it the other day, a tidy house = a tidy brain. Anyone that knows me would look at my house currently and say "that explains a lot!" I am determined to be really good and get organised before starting my course! My sister also mentioned the dreaded C word in her blog, that's right Christmas and rather than years gone by when I have left everything till the last minute and being on such a tight budget means this year that isn't an option! So I am going to take a leaf out of her book and start putting things in to place starting with a few lists possibly follo...

I can't believe that it is August already, haven't been on here in God knows how long. The last year has been weird to say the least and I am the first to admit that I haven't dealt with it at all well. I was diagnosed with depression and apart from my family there are people that won't believe this at all, as on the outside I seem such a happy go lucky person. I usually am quite upbeat but after years of struggling to keep myself upbeat and afloat the cracks began to appear.  At first I went into my shell and stopped communicating, then as things got worse I started to try and escape by making stupid choices and burying my head in the sand. I'm still not doing very well and things have gradually got worse over the last year. I keep thinking that eventually I will turn a corner, eventually I will get up one morning and I will be back to my happy self, however I am starting to realise that this is not the case. I have no magic wand I have no quick fix and maybe it i...

Well it's been a while since I last blogged. Feels weird writing stuff but thought I would give it a go. I could go on about what a tough few months I have had but conpared to some people out there I would feel a fraud. So I won't say that what I will say is over the last few months I have lost two people I have thought a lot about and unfortunately they were both through suicide. I have wondered why, so many times over the last few weeks. I have wondered why they weren't helped, why such awful things have happened. Whether they would have lived if the right support had been offered. An unsurprisingly I have no answer just such sadness for their family for their friends, for the fact that their young lives have been cut short. My thoughts are with them, to Brian and Alan may they rest in peace x

http://celtichouse.blogspot.com/ So the question what is rocking my world this week, the answer is simple, quite a few things. I'm loving the lighter nights, my breakfast of berries in porridge. Getting to work earlier so I get out sooner lol, Mac make up as I always feel so glamorous with it on! My art, I'm not professing to be any good at it but I really love it! Films I love them especially one's with Leonardo Dicaprio in, this week it has been Inception and blood diamond :) Bright sunny mornings, even if it's cool outside. The fact that every day is fresh, new and exciting and you can be anything you want to be, you can start anything, you can do anything! An it goes without saying my family who I am blessed to have! Hope you all have had a brilliant week and that next week is even better :) xTTFNx

Well I received my decree absolute through the post, I knew it was coming, I knew that it was well over due to happen but when I read that letter I'll be honest first thing I did was cry. I told myself to stop being silly I told everyone it was just because I knew my daughter would feel emotional about it. However, I was also a little sad for myself. The worse thing is at the end you can't help but look at the beginning. He was my first boyfriend, he was my best friend and we were very happy, sometimes, but often we weren't we were so young and trying so hard. But financially we were always counting the pennie's and there were never enough and so rather than working together we started to resent each other. Eventually we had both had enough and we split very amicably 5 years ago. This morning when I received the letter, I first beat myself up emotionally telling myself I should have tried harder not given up so easily. Then I started to wonder what my life over the las...

Well I seem to be very good at going off track, don't even see it coming and then it hits me like a ton of bricks. I have been wondering why this happens and at first I came up with nothing but decided to dig a little deeper. Ask a few more searching questions to see if I can come up with any better answers. The reason I start being good is that I want to be thinner, I want to be fitter, I want to feel healthy. I want to be a good role model for my daughter and encourage her to eat things that are going to be good for her. An for a spell I manage very well, I eat well, I exercise and I feel good. Then without any thought I eat one thing that is rubbish, then another and before I know it I have had a week of eating rubbish and I feel rubbish. The question is why? The only thing I can think is that I do it to block up a dam. Not always a bad thing but I do it to distract me from what I am feeling.I do it so I don't have to deal with stuff happening, the washing, the drying, the...