Hello again, another exciting blog post lmao!

Just joking, nothing exciting about this post at all really! Thought I would give you a little update, it's going to be fairly cryptic but all the important stuff will be here! 

Weekend from hell all the positive ideas, decisions I had made and general plans went out of the window in a spectacular (Melanie) type of way! I have no-one I need to apologise too and no-one I need to avoid but myself! I seem to do great for a while then do something stupid that I then spend a month beating myself up about to then start all over again. The other day's post talking about my friend letting me down and I said with friends like her who needs enemies. Well apparently I do when I grow a brain and cut someone out that is bad for me I just take up from where they left off! So yes I'm an idiot who doesn't seem to learn from past misdemeanors but instead either repeats the same stupid mistakes or finds a whole bunch of new mistakes to make. 

Everyone who reads this will think I am giving myself an unduly hard time but honest to goodness if I don't start having a strong word with myself I am going to completely and irrevocably mess things up! 

Right self-beating up has now finished. I will continue to beat myself up in my head but not so much publicly! 

Now for moving forward, Task 1 sort my stupid self out. Task 2 stop doing stupid things. Task 3 put myself first for once in a while and say frig it to everyone else for a bit (family will understand that this doesn't include them very much). Task 4 find a way to be happy. Task 5 stay away from men they make a mess and you have to pick up the pieces! Task 6 well I'm not sure about Task 6 but I have a feeling up to Task 5 will keep me busy for a bit! 

I forget to love myself, I forget to forgive myself, I forget to respect myself and I forget that I am worthy and lovely and unique. Due to me forgetting these things I am not living the life I should be living I am not being the person I would like to be. Well this has to stop. I am going to start now, I am going to stop hiding behind all my insecurities and I am going to hold my hand up and say that I no longer what to be that person. 

I want to look in the mirror and be able to love myself. An although I constantly tell myself that it's too late that I am too old to make a change I know deep down that that is not true. Ask anyone I know and they will tell you I give them great advise I tell them motivational things that makes them believe they are capable. However, apparently I am unable to do that for myself!

So here goes this is for anyone that reads this including me! 

You are beautiful, you are kind, you are generous, you are loving, you do deserve to be happy, you do deserve to be loved, you do deserve to be respected and if you don't feel you have that from an external source well that shouldn't matter a sausage because you have the ability to give yourself that! 

You owe yourself that and more! Stop reaching for the obtainable and start reaching for the stars!

Rant over sorry for waffling again lol, think I wrote this for me more than anyone else!

TTFN Melanie x

Comments

  1. My sister wrote me a brill post but unfortunatley I can't publish it because unfortuately she's go the wrong end of the stick. There is no specific person that has done this so no-one that you have to sort. Just me, haven't been anywhere near any specific person so don't worry!

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  2. Well your telling off of yourself was very motivational - I hope it had the desired effect? I love your phrase stop reaching for the obtainable and start reaching for the stars. I'll have to remember that.

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