MISSING IN ACTION
Ok it's official I'm converting this artistic crafty blog into a chatty one because i can do that without a problem. I've hit thirty it was scary but I'm still here and I've survived so now I'm officially grown up - actually nah I'm not I'm just the same old me!
I have had one of the worst hair cuts ever - the hairdresser seemed to think I was a boy and wanted something similar to a crue cut - Tom Cruise Top Gun circa 1980 doesn't have anything on me!
The reason I've not been online is that my laptop is broken - how you may ask?
A friend in need turned into the spawn of satan and used my laptop as a weapon of mass destruction by picking the laptop in its lovely case (also containing my digital camera) and throwing i with great force across the road at her brother's departing back! She then proceeded to threaten with suicide and when I refused to leave due to my worry for her she called the Police to have me forceably removed.
I haven't had many dealings with Police but that night I swore I never would again - since she was evil and the Police were at best patronising at worse thick but overall they'd watched far too many Police Camera Shoot them up programs when they were younger and thought it was appropriate to throw their weight around - threaten me and I'm sorry to say that all that i could do was actually laugh at them and leave.
My parting shot to my 'friend' was with friends like you who needs enemies. I haven't been in touch with her since although she has texted me saying she didn't think I'd want to talk to her - well derrrr - why does she think that? I mean obviously I can afford for friends to throw my laptop around and break it because I can obviously have it mended with great ease - noooooooottttt hence why I've not been on line - grrrrrr - really makes me cross.
Anyway now we need to make it more light hearted
I've been off work due to depression - wow this is a really happy happy blog post isn't it - do you want more?
I know how to make a counsellor cry - tee hee!
Am I kidding - not telling!
Doctors like to prescribe pills - last weeks question was "are you taking the thiamin?" mmmmmm - "I asked which ones are they" she responded with "they aid memory" "I said I don't know I can't remember" - she said "I don't think you can be then!"
Mmmmmm - whoops
On the man front - this will make you laugh - I have one who has fallen for me but still has a girlfriend
I have one who would just like to spend evenings together - even though he has a girlfriend
I have one whose a complete prat - now which one is that because maybe it should be I have several that are complete prats
there's the 19 year old - who thinks he's god's gift and well he's great arm candy but that's about it - he's crap
then there's the one who knows I'm his perfect one except he has a girlfriend and doesn't seem to be able to disconnect from that
I have the hotty mc-fitty athlete - whose lovely but doesn't want long term anything!
I have pirate Pete (named by my friend - long story but when she saw him in real life he didn't fit her mental image - not in the slightest or at least)
someone called me a Ladette recently - the someone being my older sister and I was about to say - noooooo- but come to think of it - maybe!
I'm in love with Jared so if anyone has his number - his or Alexander Skaarsgard number - apparently he's split up with his last girlfriend - so send him my way!
I lost weight - got depressed - gained weight!
I'm suffering with a bad back - no idea why - maybe my bum is too big!
I'm trying to change my life - he played the fat man who did the murder - whoops sorry having a conversation with my brother about Jared Leto
going back to changing my life - reading self help books - that aren't very helpful
reading books about erm healthy eating - whilst eating chocolate - mmmm tasty!
I think I have a lactose intolerance either that or I have a bloated belly due to just general fatness
nothing fits so living in exercise trousers minus the exercise!
Mmm - can you provide tips to help me change my life - that would be good - don't point me at self help books - I am incapable of helping myself - plus Ginnie has lent them all to me before and if I've been arsed to read them I agree with them completely and then do nothing about it other than returning them to the rightful owner!
Thinking about dying my hair red - what do you think?
Well Little Miss War and Peace helped me trype this and she's getting tired - hence the tryping! So going to go now - I won't be going to bed i stay up all night and sleep all day - it's all arse about face - think I must be a vampire!
I'm going to try and use this as a sounding board and diary so little in the way of art but lots about life!!!!!!!
Speak soon - hugs