I like chocolate and chocolate likes my hips!
Well I seem to be very good at going off track, don't even see it coming and then it hits me like a ton of bricks. I have been wondering why this happens and at first I came up with nothing but decided to dig a little deeper. Ask a few more searching questions to see if I can come up with any better answers.
The reason I start being good is that I want to be thinner, I want to be fitter, I want to feel healthy. I want to be a good role model for my daughter and encourage her to eat things that are going to be good for her. An for a spell I manage very well, I eat well, I exercise and I feel good. Then without any thought I eat one thing that is rubbish, then another and before I know it I have had a week of eating rubbish and I feel rubbish.
The question is why? The only thing I can think is that I do it to block up a dam. Not always a bad thing but I do it to distract me from what I am feeling.I do it so I don't have to deal with stuff happening, the washing, the drying, the housework, the fact that I am single. I also seem to be pretty afraid of failing, if I don't try then I can't fail! However, is this the way I want to continue and the answer to that is no.
This isn't just about losing weight it's more about finding out why I do this and how I move forward! It's like I'm trying to punish myself and I don't really know why. I have no will power and eating rubbish is instant satisfaction. I was considering doctoring this post, worrying that being this honest would make me look a little weird. Then I thought who isn't a little weird, who doesn't on occasion do daft stuff, but not everyone puts it on there blog ha ha oh well.
So I'm going to start with a little positive reinforcement I am going to start believing in myself, I'm going to start slowly. I have now signed up for Sheffield half marathon in May and I'm pretty scared, scared I won't manage to finish it, scared I will look daft, scared that I will look like a fool. Before I worry about all those things though I am going to start training, just going for a couple of jogs a week. I'm going to try and eat good things and stay positive! I will of course update you on what's happening of course! As they say, one step at a time!!!!