whereismellymoosmind

Just to prove that I've always been special and here is the proof - this is me now wading my way back to who I was back then and slowly I'm getting there!

Okay, so today has been one of those days where, wherever you go there seems to be chocolate and nice things to eat. An you can't eat them and you are so stressed you want a glass of wine to de-stress and you are in need of a big hug from the man of your dreams that is laying next to you on the sofa. But then you realise you are healthy eating so no chocolate and you are teetotal so no wine and you are single so no hug!!! Wow when those days arrive you don't quite know what to do for the best! Well I have had one of them and they are tough, today has been tough and the negative voices have been loud and they have been saying all sorts. Like "You should just eat what you like and enjoy it", "Have a bottle of wine that will make you feel better",  "It's horrible being on your own, you should just do all the things you want as you deserve it" Then I made a decision, I decided to stop feeling sorry for myself, I decided to give myself...

Well I've done my usual ha ha I have started all these things with great gusto and motivation and now the question is, what's next. I am healthy eating, drinking plenty of water, not drinking alcohol and exercising. So now I should be thin, right?  Wrong, I know it takes longer than a week but I am very impatient and I like to see results immediately if not sooner! My main problem is I have no weighing scales in the house, I have been good for about a week and I can't tell if my new regime is working or not as I'm not sure what weight I was to start with! So I realised this morning I need a new challenge, something to work towards other than seeing the pounds come off on the scales. Something that is possible to achieve but not without I put the effort in! It is easy just to plod through life without setting any goals and without putting ourselves out there. I personally struggle with the idea of failure, so it's easier to only try to accomplish things I am ab...

Well just before new year, I was thinking about what my new year's resolution's should be and one of them was obviously to lose some weight . I decided to do it through healthy eating and exercise but something I realised would have to change is drinking alcohol. It's true what they say it's liquid cream cake and it also lowers your inhibitions so there is a higher chance of you snacking on things that are high in calories. Plus everyone knows the best cure for a hangover is a big fry up and to get on the settee and not move all day! Well I decided to not be that person, I decided that 2011 was going to be different, no more hangovers, no more eating rubbish. Everything I've done so far does not shape what I'm about to do, what I am able to become!  So I just stopped now it hasn't been easy plenty of people offer to buy me drinks and now I just say thanks can I have a diet coke please or a tonic water or occasionally a J20. Then comes the look followed by...

So today has been better, nothing majorly different happened but my outlook was different. I was positive and rather than listen to the negative voice I shouted over the top of it! I have eaten well, been to work, done some housework put some music on and bopped round the house with a smile on my face! An I feel good, I feel happy and although I know I'm not yet where I want to be, I know I am on my way!   Virginia spoke about the life affirming book she lent me and I have been using it, I don't yet believe them all but by saying them I'm sure eventually I will! One of my favourites from the book is "Whatever happens I will handle it" above all others this is probably the most important.   Say it to yourself and realise it is true! xTTFNx

So today I got dressed to go to the gym, I was tired but I was determined to do some exercise. So I went, I really enjoyed it but due to having not done any exercise over Christmas I found it hard going. Also the run I had done yesterday had made my legs feel like lead. So I only managed 30 mins before I had to throw the towel in. When I got home I had a a big salad and then spent a good few minutes kicking myself that I had only managed 30 mins, then I had a shower and put some clothes on, everything felt tight and I again kicked myself that I was fat etc. Now at this point I thought what's the point, closely followed by I'm fed up I may just eat what I want and give up, then I thought I'm never going to be the size I want to be. I quickly realised that by saying these things even in my head I was positively reinforcing them. So I stopped, I took a deep breath and told myself that if I gave up now that I would have been right, I wouldn't lose any weight and I wouldn...

I've had the most amazing day I met a friend for coffee (fed my heart) I went for a run (fed my body) and I had a lovely conversation with Virginia the best sister a girl could wish for (fed my soul). I have had such a positive day, I made a plan and I carried it out. I lived rather than survived. What have I gained from my brill day, a healthy happy outcome on things to come! I'm grateful for my lovely family and especially my daughter, I am blessed to have her and I thank God every day for the miracle that is her! So, up to now I have stopped drinking, I have started eating healthier foods, I'm drinking more water after a truly awful headache yesterday, I've started exercising . It's all going well but I'm not an idiot I know I have been on this track before and when things haven't gone right I have given up and thrown the towel in. The difference this time is that I now understand you get out of life what you put in, if I put the hard work in hopef...

Well already I have missed a day but as someone once said to er is human and anyone who knows me will vouch for just how er sorry I mean human I am! The important thing is to recognise I'm not perfect but my imperfections are what make me unique so my new thing is to embrace it! So today the good has been healthy eating all day and a bit of cleaning, the bad no exercise but I'm not going to kick myself as I have had a major headache all day, but due to my very clever brother I soon realised what was causing it. Simple answer, not enough liquid! So tomorrow, what can I do differently, I can drink water and I can also go for a run. This will make me feel better but one thing it won't do is fulfill me spiritually, so I am trying to find something that will aid that! Any ideas are appreciated? I haven't felt particularly positive but the saying fake it till you make it is something I'm willing to give a try! xTTFNx

Well I have nothing of interest to talk about but since it has been so long since I last did a blog thought I would start by just putting a little bit of something on here.  I had a lovely Christmas and a great new year and made some pretty big resolutions. Which I do every year but this time for a change I thought I may try to do some of them! So the first was to lead a fitter, healthier life. The first thing I have done is to go tee-total, this has been the case since 28th December 2010 which is when I had my last drink. Next thing is to start healthy eating, drinking more water and doing more exercise. I always say to my sister I don't understand why I don't do all these things all the time as I always feel better and more energised and generally happier.  So from tomorrow it is all go, I am going to write a little something on here every night about the kind of day I have had what I have accomplished etc. Can't promise it will be exciting but hopefully it will keep me...